John Rich Takes Credit for Lack of Apocalypse

Speaking to reporters via teleconference from his home atop Love Circle in Nashville today, performer John Rich of the country-music duo “Big & Rich” explained that the world did not end on December 21st because he had single-handedly thwarted the Mayan Apocalypse.


“I wasn’t gonna let those Mayans destroy America, I just love it too much.  As for the rest of the world being saved too?  Well, that’s just a pleasant side-effect; you’re welcome, Earth, it was my pleasure.”

When asked by reporters how he had averted the apocalypse, Rich became visibly agitated and ended the teleconference, belligerently declaring “C’mon Now!  I wrote ‘Redneck Woman, I built a house to ruin the view on Love Circle, and I got a little person that performs onstage at my concerts.  If that’s not enough to make you take me at my word, then heck, I don’t wanna know you!”

The Mayan Civilization could not be reached for comment.


John Rich photo found at

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