Posted in March 2012

Nashville Pretends It Isn’t Disappointed at Opry Mills’ Re-Opening

Nashville Pretends It Isn’t Disappointed at Opry Mills’ Re-Opening

The Opry Mills shopping center reopened today amidst a great deal of fanfare, while local citizens tried to appear enthusiastic and conceal their disappointment that the Opryland theme-park hadn’t been rebuilt instead. “I’m sure it’ll be wonderful” stated Beverly Williams, a Bellevue resident and mother of three, sounding somewhat somber and resigned.  “My husband enjoys blowing his … Continue reading

Titans “Totally Over Peyton”; Seen Club-hopping with Eli

Titans “Totally Over Peyton”; Seen Club-hopping with Eli

Earlier this week, former Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning disappointed the Tennessee Titans and their fans by choosing to sign-on with the Denver Broncos instead.  Though anticipation of the UT-Knoxville alumnus’ possible return to the Volunteer State had spurred great excitement among the local NFL franchise, the Titans organization claims that they are already “totally … Continue reading

Bigfoot Sighted Brunching with Nicole and Keith

Bigfoot Sighted Brunching with Nicole and Keith

Local star-gazers, who make a habit of “spotting” resident celebrities Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, received an extra surprise this past weekend when the couple was spotted having Sunday brunch at the Copper Kettle with the mythological creature known as Bigfoot. “I know they like coming [to the Copper Kettle] most weekends, so I usually … Continue reading

TWRA Warns of Possible “Hot Chick” Overpopulation in Hillsboro

TWRA Warns of Possible “Hot Chick” Overpopulation in Hillsboro

Wednesday, The Tennessee Wildlife Resource Agency published their annual report on estimated game populations throughout the state for the coming year.  Among various findings and predictions, the TWRA noted that the Hillsboro Village area of Nashville might encounter the largest population of wild Tantalizingly-Dressed-Women (more commonly referred to as “Hot Chicks”) that the area has … Continue reading

Nashville shocked to learn that downtown’s “Batman Building” is really Bruce Wayne.

Nashville shocked to learn that downtown’s “Batman Building” is really Bruce Wayne.

Nashvillians are in shock today after learning that the “Batman Building”, a long-time staple of the downtown skyline, is in fact none-other than billionaire playboy and philanthropist Bruce Wayne. The Bat Building (also commonly known as “Bat-South” or “[B]AT&T”) has been a towering, foreboding presence in downtown for nearly two decades; located north of Broadway … Continue reading