Contributor Vendor Thinks Guy with Giant, Spinning Arrow is Trying Too Hard

Displaying obvious disdain for his counterpart’s tactics, street newspaper vendor Carl Benjamin told onlookers today that the man located one block down the street from his own location was “trying too hard with all that arrow-spinning nonsense.”  Benjamin, who has been a vendor for the Nashville-based publication “The Contributor” for over three years, says the young man nearby has been a constant presence at their location on Gallatin Rd for the last three weeks.

arrow

“He’s just being too damn flashy with all that twirling his sign and all the dancing and gyrating,” said Benjamin.  “Working out here on the street requires finesse.  You have to get motorists to like you and trust you before you can hope they’ll take an interest in your product.  How’s he supposed to develop a relationship with drivers when he keeps twirling his big arrow like a majorette’s baton and … good God, is he, … is he twerking now?  Is that twerking?  Oh lordy.”

By press time, neither Benjamin nor Rhinestone reporters were able to ascertain exactly what product or company was being advertised on the rapidly-spinning, 6ft-long corrugated-plastic arrow, as it never stopped moving long enough to be read.  “Probably somebody in that shopping center has a sale going or something, except he’s been out here almost a month” explained Benjamin.  “There aren’t any subdivisions going in nearby, so I’m lost as to what the hell he’s even out here for.  One thing’s for certain, though; he better slow his roll if he wants to do his job right.”

Despite obvious antipathy for the arrow-spinner, Benjamin did admit that it’s not the worst example of street vending he’s witnessed near his regular corner.  “During tax season, they had some poor kid out here across the street dressed up like the Statue of Liberty trying to get folks to go in and get their taxes done.  He was wearing green facepaint, a pair of headphones, and was shimmying and waving that torch around like he was turning a pumpkin into a carriage or something.  It was the saddest, most embarrassing s*** I’ve ever seen, man.”

***********

Photo of arrow spinner found at https://i.ytimg.com/vi/PhwF82TNk8M/maxresdefault.jpg from a video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhwF82TNk8M.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s