Local Runner Over-thinks Marathon

Runner Wilson Barrett, 40, was hospitalized Saturday following the Country Music Marathon when he overanalyzed the philosophical implications of such events and became severely depressed.

“I realized that, ultimately, all I’m doing is running in one gigantic circle” explained Barrett.  “It’s not like we’re really accomplishing anything, you know?  You start running, you go 26.2 miles, and in the end, you’re pretty much right back where you started.  The soul-crushing futility of it all, it’s… it’s just too much.”

Barrett, a lawyer from Madison, participated in Saturday’s Country Music Marathon, a part of the national “Rock & Roll Marathon” charity event series that raises funds nationwide and internationally for a variety of charities.  Representatives of the Country Music Marathon were quick to point out that the event and its participants do, in fact, accomplish something by raising money for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital, a Memphis-based medical facility which provides cancer and other life-saving procedures to children, regardless of their parents’ ability to pay.  Representatives also noted that theirNashvillecourse is not, as Barrett purports, a giant circle, but rather more of a squiggle which vaguely resembles a broken Flux-Capacitor.

Barrett was taken by Life-Flight to Vanderbilt from the marathon’s finish-line for treatment of “critical levels of existential crisis”, according to his physician.  “We think Mr. Barrett will make a full recovery, given time.  We’re just going to make sure he’s well hydrated, and probably remove any Nietzsche from his hospital room, purely as a precaution.”

(Marathon image found at http://365nashville.com/2011/03/31/25-2-country-music-marathon-12-marathon/)

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